Scary moment with my dog

My dog--well, my mom's dog since she's in Seattle and I'm in Vegas--crunched up a glass bowl and ate it. The hospital vet said the meds my mom gave her for fleas probably made her really hungry and the bowl just smelled like food. (She had cooked in it earlier the night before, and the dog knocked it down and ate it while she was at work the next day.)

My dog will be okay--the vet cut her open and dug around her stomach and intestines all night getting the glass out--but I was very scared for a moment. I'm still kind of freaked out about it. I really love that dog; we've had her for about 13 years. Below is the x-ray with what I believe to be accurate labeling. The little white squares are glass shards.

prop player at Harrah's

So I haven't really changed how I've felt since yesterday, but it's not just poker. It's the stagnant state of my life and the barely making enough and the worry and the sitting at my computer all day. Previously I played online because it was less variance and I could make more. But I just found out about a promotion at Harrah's poker room which is complicated to explain, but basically amounts to them paying you $12 an hour to play poker there, as long as you play 125 hours in a month. So I cashed out a good chunk of my money online, and as soon as I get that I am going to take a break form my computer play and just play in the casino 8 hours a day like a full time job. I'll probably play 3/6 limit and short-stack the 1/2 game because I just can't stand variance at the moment. But I mean even if I only make a couple hundred over the entire month, with the promotion, I'll still have 1500 at the end of the month. It has to be in calendar months though, so if I don't get the money soon, I can't do it this month, but still it's something different, and it's guaranteed money, and it's a lot more relaxing and easy mentally than online play. And I get to be around people. This will be a good way to get a break from my routine and make some decent money and think about other things for a bit. And if I run half way decent I may actually take a real vacation afterward. God I need one!!!!!!

I'm not suicidal, I'm just venting.

I'm tired. God I'm tired. I'm tired of poker. I'm tired of my life. I'm tired of having to play 10 tables of a goddamned card game 10 hours a day, 7 days a week so I can afford to eat. I hate that I have not been able to save up anything and am stuck here. I hate that I'm even more fucked if I don't keep playing every hour of every goddamned day. I hate that it's STILL better than the shit-paying soul-sucking job that I had to beg my dad to beg our asshole neighbor to give me. I don't want this to be my life, and I hate that I'm grateful for it because it's still better than anything else I can find. I want a break. God how I want to rest. I want a day where I am not fucking terrified of my future and where I don't have to be planted in front of my computer until my eyes fucking bleed. There just doesn't seem to be any relief or way to escape.

I am so tired...


.