Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Life is OK

The past few years have been a little difficult, but just free-form writing things down seems like a good therapeutic way to get things out, so I figured what better way to update my blog!  I also just finished writing my reasons why the whole NSA spying scandal is such a big deal, so that should be the other post listed here on blogspot.  I might also post that to facebook.

Anyway, the poker team broke apart in late-mid 2012, which really sucked.  There was also a handful of shitty things that happened, which involve other people so I'm not really comfortable talking about, which happened about the same time.  I had a mini mental breakdown and also got really depressed for a while, but for at the minimum the past few months, I've definitely been over that and reasonably happy just trucking along.  I certainly feel mentally "hardened" which is neat and useful but also a bit scary and depressing.  It's good feeling like you can get through tough times, but it's a bit darker of a world to live in knowing such tough times are possible.  Oh well-- like I said, I'm on the other side of all of it and feeling pretty happy on a day to day basis.

When team broke apart, my playing bankroll instantly got cut down to 1/4 of what it was previously, but I dumped a fair bit into bitcoins, which even though they've been volatile, have definitely gone up since I bought them, and I've also been playing a lot.  I signed up to deal at the World Series, but the pay was so bad, the other dealers so annoying, that I quit after a few weeks.  Before the Series, I had about $30K actual cash on hand (that figure is including bitcoin value) from saving up over the years in addition to paying my bills, but bitcoin prices have dropped a bit since then and my 5-10 and few buyins worth of 10-20 shots all went terribly, so with all that combined, I'm back down to just below $20K.  That's certainly good enough for 2-5 live and 1-2 or even 2-4 online, but now that I'm on my own again and going bust is an end-of-the world disaster, my bankroll-nit ways are creeping back up again, so I've mostly been playing 1-2 live and microstakes for bitcoins on Seals, since my VPN Stars setup was just such a giant pain.  I've also been tilting almost every session lately, which makes it so I really just can't play.  While I've had tilt issues in the past, I've never had them this bad and they've never been this hard to get rid of.  Before, I used to feel it creeping up on me and recognize the itch to start making bad calls and reckless plays, and I could outright push it away or at least recognize it and walk away.  Now, it's more akin to an alien hand syndrome where I am simply overcome and make atrocious plays and can't stop myself.  I've always prided myself on sort of being a consummate professional, and this is just outright embarrassing.  It also puts me out of work.  Which is really really bad.

With that, and having much less money that I thought I would at this point in time, I'm really feeling frustrated and antsy.  I see so many people I know with families and nice homes and doing well.  I see poker friends with less money taking shots and doing well at higher stakes.  I am happy for them, but I also feel-- not jealous of what they have, but sort of ashamed that I've lost the courage to take the shots and risks necessary to get there myself.  I also feel like I'm not where I should be at this point in my life.  And it's weird because I'm completely comfortable and happy where I am, but I feel a lot of pressure from family and society that I should be doing more and doing different things.  So I feel kind of lost and not sure what to do and not sure what to feel, and I feel bad that I don't know how I "should" feel.  (And then of course I have an itch that I should be doing something more beneficial to the world than playing a fucking card game.)  So lately I've been feeling very directionless.

I've also been spending more time trying to learn to program in Java, specifically for Android apps, because I think that's the most useful, and it'll teach me Java anyways, which is transferable.  I have an idea for a relatively simple app, but even getting started on it is just taking forEVER.  I knew I'd get stuck at the first step and it'd be a much longer road than I'd anticipated, but I'm stuck before I've even taken the first step.  It's insanely frustrating to get in a jam so early, and a BIG jam too.  And I don't even know enough to fix it yet, so diagnosing and fixing it is ENORMOUSLY more complicated for me than it would be for anybody else.  Such is life.  This is the best way to learn.

Anyway, as depressing as all this may be, it is all background noise to my day to day life, which on the whole has been fairly pleasant.  I may not have accomplished much in the past few weeks, but I had a nice break-- took a hiking trip to Zion in Utah, I've caught up on some reading, learned more about Android and Java, and made a video for facebook friends about how to protect their e-mails in the wake of all the NSA.  I also, at the recommendation of a friend, started a few episodes of House of Cards on Netflix.  It's an excellent show but the idea that things work that way -- not even that they necessarily do, but the very idea that it's perfectly possible and plausible-- is disturbing and bothersome beyond measure.  And it would make complete sense that it works that way too.  So while I enjoy the show, it still really bothers me.  I just don't "get" politics-- in any form.  I speak plainly; I say what I mean and mean what I say; I give the whole truth.  If I defend an idea or person or thing I need, I explain the situation fully and expect the logic behind my reasoning and humanity of the other person to prevail.  I view my interactions as economic win-wins, and I don't try to benefit by concealing things.  I simply view it both as unethical and also unnecessary and more trouble than it's worth.  So interacting with people who DO conceal things and play politics-- be it business/governmental politics or the more common social maneuvering -- that kind of thing is entirely foreign to me, and I just don't interact with people who act that way with me.  Poker, for all its frustrations and downfalls, allows me to not rely financially on others for getting by in life, which means I have no incentive to deceive them (not that I would anyway).  So all of the people in my life know that I am just straightforward with them.  And I expect the same of them.  If you don't value me enough to be honest and straight with me, then our relationship really can't be that close or valuable can it?  Anyway, ya, fuck Congress if it operates like House of Cards.  Jesus.

So I guess I don't have much going on in the way of actual news.  And I'm not really sad or anything on a day to day basis.  (I was going to say I'm not depressed on a day to day basis, but I think I might actually be!...)  I'm just trucking along, for the most part pretty happy, but frustrated with my place in life but still not sure what I even really WANT in life.  But I'll be OK.  I'll figure it out-- I always do.


NSA Flagged Word List for e-mails, texts, other communications

This is compiled from multiple sources and may contain duplicates...

Rewson, SAFE, Waihopai, INFOSEC, ASPIC, MI6, Information Security, SAI, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Privacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, The Artful Dodger, NAIA, SAPM, ASU, ASTS, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, SAO, Reno, Compsec, JICS, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, RSP, ISS, JDF, Ermes, Passwords, NAAP, DefCon V, RSO, Hackers, Encryption, ASWS, CUN, CISU, CUSI, M.A.R.E., MARE, UFO, IFO, Pacini, Angela, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, SALDV, PEM, resta, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, SAMU, COSMOS, DATTA, Furbys, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, ram, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, SADCC, NSLEP, SACLANTCEN, FALN, 877, NAVELEXSYSSECENGCEN, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, rsta, Active X, Compsec 97, RENS, LLC, DERA, JIC, rip, rb, Wu, RDI, Mavricks, BIOL, Meta-hackers, ?, SADT, Steve Case, Tools, RECCEX, Telex, Aldergrove, OTAN, monarchist, NMIC, NIOG, IDB, MID/KL, NADIS, NMI, SEIDM, BNC, CNCIS, STEEPLEBUSH, RG, BSS, DDIS, mixmaster, BCCI, BRGE, Europol, SARL, Military Intelligence, JICA, Scully, recondo, Flame, Infowar, FRU, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, ISADC, CISSP, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, JOTS, ISACA, NCSA, ASVC, spook words, RRF, 1071, Bugs Bunny, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, JIC, bce, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, IRA, EODG, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, site, SASSTIXS, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, SARD, LABLINK, USACIL, SAPT, USCG, NRC, ~, O, NSA/CSS, CDC, DOE, SAAM, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, LLNL, bemd, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, SABENA, DREO, CDA, SADRS, DRA, SHAPE, bird dog, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, SC, TA SAS, Lander, GSM, T Branch, AST, SAMCOMM, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, benelux, SAS, SBS, SAW, UDT, EODC, GOE, DOE, SAMF, GEO, JRB, 3P-HV, Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, radint, MB, CQB, TECS, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, SART, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, diwn, 747, ASIC, 777, RDI, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, EODN, SHS, X, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, NSS, Duress, RAID, Uziel, wojo, Psyops, SASCOM, grom, NSIRL, D-11, DF, ZARK, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, NSWG, MP5k, SATKA, DREC, DEVGRP, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, MEU/SOC,PSAC, PTT, RFI, ZL31, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, Schengen, SUSLO, TELINT, fake, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, Mafia, JASSM, CALCM, TLAM, Wipeout, GII, SIW, MEII, C2W, Burns, Tomlinson, Ufologico Nazionale, Centro, CICAP, MIR, Belknap, Tac, rebels, BLU-97 A/B, 007, nowhere.ch, bronze, Rubin, Arnett, BLU, SIGS, VHF, Recon, peapod, PA598D28, Spall, dort, 50MZ, 11Emc Choe, SATCOMA, UHF, The Hague, SHF, ASIO, SASP, WANK, Colonel, domestic disruption, 5ESS, smuggle, Z-200, 15kg, DUVDEVAN, RFX, nitrate, OIR, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, NSO, nkvd, argus, afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Enemy of the State, SARA, Rapid Reaction, JSOFC3IP, Corporate Security, 192.47.242.7, Baldwin, Wilma, ie.org, cospo.osis.gov, Police, Dateline, Tyrell, KMI, 1ee, Pod, 9705 Samford Road, 20755-6000, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security Consulting, M-x spook, Z-150T, Steak Knife, High Security, Security Evaluation, Electronic Surveillance, MI-17, ISR, NSAS, Counterterrorism, real, spies, IWO, eavesdropping, debugging, CCSS, interception, COCOT, NACSI, rhost, rhosts, ASO, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, NAVCM, Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, NSS, rita, ISSO, submiss, ASDIC, .tc, 2EME REP, FID, 7NL SBS, tekka, captain, 226, .45, nonac, .li, Tony Poe, MJ-12, JASON, Society, Hmong, Majic, evil, zipgun, tax, bootleg, warez, TRV, ERV, rednoise, mindwar, nailbomb, VLF, ULF, Paperclip, Chatter, MKULTRA, MKDELTA, Bluebird, MKNAOMI, White Yankee, MKSEARCH, 355 ML, Adriatic, Goldman, Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, NABS, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Emerson, Tzvrif, SDIS, T2S2, STTC, DNR, NADDIS, NFLIS, CFD, BLU-114/B, quarter, Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, JSOTF, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell, B.D.M., Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF, POCSAG, rusers, Covert Video, Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope, LASINT, csystems, .tm, passwd, 2600 Magazine, JUWTF, Competitor, EO, Chan, Pathfinders, SEAL Team 3, JTF, Nash, ISSAA, B61-11, Alouette, executive, Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor, Tarawa, COSMOS-2224, COSTIND, hit word, hitword, Hitwords, Regli, VBS, Leuken-Baden, number key, Zimmerwald, DDPS, GRS, AGT. AMME, ANDVT, Type I, Type II, VFCT, VGPL, WHCA, WSA, WSP, WWABNCP, ZNI1, FSK, FTS2000, GOSIP, GOTS, SACS STU-III, PRF, PMSP, PCMT, I&A, JRSC, ITSDN, Keyer, KG-84C, KWT-46, KWR-46, KY-75, KYV-5, LHR, PARKHILL, LDMX, LEASAT, SNS, SVN, TACSAT, TRANSEC, DONCAF, EAM, DSCS, DSNET1, DSNET2, DSNET3, ECCM, EIP, EKMS, EKMC, DDN, DDP, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ, MIT, 69, RIT, Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, SUW, J2, Embassy, ETA, Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, Fernspah, MYK, GAFE, forcast, import, rain, tiger, buzzer, N9, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security, OC3, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco, TRD, TDR, Z, sweeping, SURSAT, 5926, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS, Asset, Satellite imagery, force, NAIAG, Cypherpunks, NARF, 127, Coderpunks, TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, J-6, Pornstars, AVN, Playboy, ISSSP, Anonymous, W, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20, subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, SUBACS, the, Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, N-ISDN, NLSP, OTAR, OTAT, OTCIXS, MISSI, MOSAIC, NAVCOMPARS, NCTS, NESP, MILSATCOM, AUTODIN, BLACKER, C3I, C4I, CMS, CMW, CP, SBU, SCCN, SITOR, SHF/DOD, Finksburg MD, Link 16, LATA, NATIA, NATOA, sneakers, UXO, (), OC-12, counterintelligence, Shaldag, sport, NASA, TWA, DT, gtegsc, nowhere, .ch, hope, emc, industrial espionage, SUPIR, PI, TSCI, spookwords, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., SUAEWICS, Juiliett Class Submarine, Locks, qrss, loch, 64 Vauxhall Cross, Ingram Mac-10, wwics, sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Siemens, RPC, Met, CIA-DST, INI, watchers, keebler, contacts, Blowpipe, BTM, CCS, GSA, Kilo Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Z7, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, no|d, Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, BROMURE, ANC, zone, SBI, DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Starr, Wackenhutt, EO, burhop, Wackendude, mol, Shelton, 2E781, F-22, 2010, JCET, cocaine, Vale, IG, Kosovo, Dake, 36,800, Hillal, Pesec, Hindawi, GGL, NAICC, CTU, botux, Virii, CCC, ISPE, CCSC, Scud, SecDef, Magdeyev, VOA, Kosiura, Small Pox, Tajik, +=, Blacklisted 411, TRDL, Internet Underground, BX, XS4ALL, wetsu, muezzin, Retinal Fetish, WIR, Fetish, FCA, Yobie, forschung, emm, ANZUS, Reprieve, NZC-332, edition, cards, mania, 701, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago Posse, NSDM, l0ck, beanpole, spook, keywords, QRR, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC, Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7, Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, NSWT, press-release, WISDIM, burned, Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Enforcers, Digicash, zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, NACSE, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI, Blacknet, ISM, JCE, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, NSV, GQ360, X400, Texas, jihad, SDI, BRIGAND, Uzi, Fort Meade, *&, gchq.gov.uk, supercomputer, bullion, 3, NTTC, Blackmednet, :, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, IWIS, Planet-1, ISTA, rs9512c, Jiang Zemin, South Africa, Sergeyev, Montenegro, Toeffler, Rebollo, sorot, Yucca Mountain, FARC, Toth, Xu Yongyue, Bach, Razor, AC, cryptanalysis, nuclear, 52 52 N - 03 03 W, Morgan, Canine, GEBA, INSCOM, MEMEX, Stanley, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta Force, SEAL, virtual, WASS, WID, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops, O/S, Area51, SABC, basement, ISWG, $@, data-haven, NSDD, black-bag, rack, TEMPEST, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, ISAF, unclassified, Sayeret Tzanhanim, PARASAR, Gripan, pirg, curly, Taiwan, guest, utopia, NSG, orthodox, CCSQ, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob, UNSCOM, Fukuyama, Manfurov, Kvashnin, Marx, Abdurahmon, snullen, Pseudonyms, MITM, NARF, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, NSES, Sugar Grove, WAS, Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, XM, Parvus, NAVSVS, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith, Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, blow out, BUDS, WQC, Flintlock, PABX, Electron, Chicago Crust, e95, DDR&E, 3M, KEDO, iButton, R1, erco, Toffler, FAS, RHL, K3, Visa/BCC, SNT, Ceridian, STE, condor, CipherTAC-2000, Etacs, Shipiro, ssor, piz, fritz, KY, 32, Edens, Kiwis, Kamumaruha, DODIG, Firefly, HRM, Albright, Bellcore, rail, csim, NMS, 2c, FIPS140-1, CAVE, E-Bomb, CDMA, Fortezza, 355ml, ISSC, cybercash, NAWAS, government, NSY, hate, speedbump, joe, illuminati, BOSS, Kourou, Misawa, Morse, HF, P415, ladylove, filofax, Gulf, lamma, Unit 5707, Sayeret Mat'Kal, Unit 669, Sayeret Golani, Lanceros, Summercon, NSADS, president, ISFR, freedom, ISSO, walburn, Defcon VI, DC6, Larson, P99, HERF pipe-bomb, 2.3 Oz., cocaine, $, imapct, Roswell, ESN, COS, E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, ST1, assasinate, virus, ISCS, ISPR, anarchy, rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium, William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, WWSV, Atlas, IWWSVCS, Delta, TWA, Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, SASSTIXS, IWG, Lynch, 414, Face, Pixar, IRIDF, NSRB, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton, Johohonbu, LUK, Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, ISEP, ISEC, 51, H&K, USP, , sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, NSOF, DC7, Glock 26, snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco, Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM, SADF, advise, TUSA, LITE, PKK, HoHoCon, SISMI, ISG, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP, SSCI, NIMA, HAMASMOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, Monica, OAU, PFS, Aladdin, AG, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, .375, Peering, CSC, Tangimoana Beach, Commecen, Vanuatu, Kwajalein, LHI, DRM, GSGI, DST, MITI, JERTO, SDF, Koancho, Blenheim, Rivera, Kyudanki, varon, 310, 17, 312, NB, CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, jaws, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut, SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, meta, Faber, SFPD, EG&G, ISEP, blackjack, Fox, Aum, AIEWS, AMW, RHL, Baranyi, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, VIA, DynCorp, UXO, Ti, WWSP, WID, osco, Mary, honor, Templar, THAAD, package, CISD, ISG, BIOLWPN, JRA, ISB, ISDS, chosen, LBSD, van, schloss, secops, DCSS, DPSD, LIF, J-Star, PRIME, SURVIAC, telex, Analyzer, embassy, Golf, B61-7, Maple, Tokyo, ERR, SBU, Threat, JPL, Tess, SE, Alex, EPL, SPINTCOM, FOUO, ISS-ADP, Merv, Mexico, SUR, blocks, SO13, Rojdykarna, RSOC, USS Banner, S511, 20755, airframe, jya.com, Furby, PECSENC, football, Agfa, 3210, Crowell, moore, 510, OADR, Smith, toffee, FIS, N5P6, EuroFed, SP4, shelter, Crypto AG Croatian nuclear FBI colonel plutonium Ortega Waco, Texas Panama CIA DES jihad fissionable quiche terrorist World Trade Center assassination DES NORAD Delta Force Waco, Texas SDI explosion Serbian Panama Uzi Ft. Meade SEAL Team 6 Honduras PLO NSA terrorist Ft. Meade strategic supercomputer $400 million in gold bullion quiche Honduras BATF colonel Treasury domestic disruption SEAL Team 6 class struggle smuggle M55 M51 Physical Security Division Room 2A0120, OPS 2A building 688-6911(b), 963-3371(s). Security Awareness Division (M56) Field Security Division (M52) Al Amn al-Askari Supreme Assembly of the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SAIRI) Binnenlandse Veiligheidsdienst Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti Federalnaia sluzhba besopasnosti GCHQ MI5 Kill the president

Waihopai, INFOSEC, Information Security, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Priavacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, Reno, Compsec, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, ISS, Passwords, DefCon V, Hackers, Encryption, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, PEM, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, Active X, Compsec 97, LLC, DERA, Mavricks, Meta-hackers, ^?, Steve Case, Tools, Telex, Military Intelligence, Scully, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, ISACA, NCSA, spook words, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, LABLINK, USACIL, USCG, NRC, ~, CDC, DOE, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, DREO, CDA, DRA, SHAPE, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, SAS, SBS, UDT, GOE, DOE, GEO, Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, MYK, 747,777, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, Duress, RAID, Psyops, grom, D-11, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, MP5k, DREC, DEVGRP, DF, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, PSAC, PTT, RFI, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, SUSLO, TELINT, TEXTA. 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Why Privacy Matters

The NSA spying ordeal, UK destroying the Guardian's disk drives (useless as that was), and in general the US's and all the other Five Eyes nations' responses to the Snowden leaks is not merely "bad" -- it is outright evil.

Even if you don't mind nor care about the spying, or are bothered but not enough to do anything, I want to explain why it's such deep concern to me.  I recognize that I live in one of the safest places on the planet, am better off than the vast majority of the world, during the most prosperous and safest times in the whole of human history, and that there are hundreds of people in the world dying every day simply because they don't have clean drinking water.  This spying thing isn't the most pressing concern for most people.  I get that.  But for the "civilized" world, and those who aren't focused on more pressing concerns, this spying and the reaction of governments to it should be considered an egregious violation.  It is evil.  I have a big problem with it and you should too.

First, and least important, there's its (lack of) usefulness.  There's evidence showing that it's mostly useless, which is good because if it was REALLY effective, there might actually be merrit to saying we should just let it happen.  But that's not the case, and I point out the problems with that in another facebook post where I talk about the actual real world effectiveness of a 99% effective terrorist-finding algorithm... In short, terrorism is such a small problem that inconveniencing or harming people over finding and thwarting it does *significantly* more damage to innocent people than *actual terrorism*.

But let's forget about the uselessness and even the possibility that the spying and other anti-terrorism efforts do more harm than good.  Let's, for the moment, assume they do a little bit of net positive.  Now we can get closer to the heart of the issue, because the problem with all the spying is NOT its (lack of) effectiveness...

Maybe you are gay in Russia or large parts of Africa and the Middle East, and being found out means fines, imprisonment, or worse.  Maybe you are a political dissident, not even necessarily planning revolution or violence-- just trying to have an intelligent discussion about cause and effect and social policy and the possible merits of aspects of Communism in the USA in the 50's.

These are the main examples people give when defending privacy-- that the laws and morals of a place may not be ethical and that privacy is necessary because it protects people from injustice in unjust places.  This may be political climate, corruption of local powers (police, businesses, whatever), or it may simply be an individual who doesn't wish for his medical history or religious or political views to be known by the world, even if he's got nothing to hide from the powers that be.

But it goes a bit further.  You might not be a dissident or have anything to hide-- but the problem is that may not be true *in the future*.  Back to my 50s USA Communist example-- lets say you were advocating Communism in the 30s and that was all well and good, and heck in the wake of the Depression, many might have agreed with you.  Suddenly 20 years later you are before a judge as a possible threat to national security for something that you were never trying to hide.

But none of this is the real problem.

You read that right, none of that is the problem, not by a long shot.

The problem with the NSA scandal and the way it has been handled lies at the core of why privacy for individuals is so important: being spied upon fundamentally alters the way you think.  You begin to censor yourself without any coercion besides knowing that you are being watched.  The very thoughts you have and your reactions to them change.  The owner of Groklaw.net, who is shutting the site down, analogized it to having your home being broken into even if nothing was stolen.  Knowing a stranger had seen your family photos, riffled through your things, had been in your home-- had penetrated the very area that you go to in order to be safe... suddenly the world seems a lot scarier.

The same goes for your phone, e-mails, internet activity, et cetera.

You may not be planning a terrorist attack, but are still curious about how nuclear bombs work, because heck, it's kind of fascinating to think about a chain reaction of one molecule bombarding others and releasing energy and particles that continue bombarding and so forth.  Or you may want to write a story that involves a bomb and you want to get the details right.

Then you remember.  They are watching.  Merely typing in Google what you are about to type will almost certainly flag you somewhere.  You aren't doing anything wrong, but *They* don't know that.  Is it really worth getting on a database somewhere, potentially putting your family through an annoying situation?  Maybe bombs *aren't* that interesting.  Maybe your story *shouldn't* have that it in.

Suddenly, instead of being safe in your own person and in your own *MIND*, you have become a prisoner.  It's not overt.  You aren't getting rounded up.  Heck, YOU aren't even doing anything wrong, or at least not something that the government in your physical location *thinks* is wrong.  But still, that nagging feeling.  That little bit of anxiousness.

And that's just for people in FREE countries who are under the least authoritarian regimes in all of history.

This is why privacy for individuals is so so very important and worth protecting at heavy cost, and why transparency in institutions like businesses and governments is so so important and worth demanding and fighting for at even heavy cost.  Accountability and transparency so the individual knows what is going on and what to expect and that violations of laws and trust are rightly punishment-- those things are what allows the individual to be free.  Privacy for the individual and transparency of institutions are ends in themselves certainly-- they protect us in a *provable* and *verifiable* way that, but additionally, they are ends to even more important means-- they actually enable true and genuine freedom, both in terms of physical safety as well as psychological well being.

So what does it do to a citizen of the USA or the UK when the President goes on Leno and says no spying is occurring when we have hard data that says it is?  What does it make us think and feel when James Clapper and others outright lie to Congress and are not punished?  What does it do to us when the UK destroys the hard drives at the Guardian?  When Manning and Snowden and Assange are on trial or hunted?  When the Manning prosecutor is pushing for the death penalty for aiding the enemy?

This is why I am such a staunch advocate of utilizing encryption and other privacy tools.  It's not so much about "fuck the Man" (although, FUCK the Man!) as it is about trying to preserve freedom and safety, of my person and my mind, and also showing others how to preserve THEIR safety and peace of mind.  Privacy for the individual and transparency of institutions are not merely ends of themselves, they matter because actually being free is only possible with them.  And I'm grateful for people like Glenn Greenwald, who committed the egregious crime of domestic journalism.