I'm tired. God I'm tired. I'm tired of poker. I'm tired of my life. I'm tired of having to play 10 tables of a goddamned card game 10 hours a day, 7 days a week so I can afford to eat. I hate that I have not been able to save up anything and am stuck here. I hate that I'm even more fucked if I don't keep playing every hour of every goddamned day. I hate that it's STILL better than the shit-paying soul-sucking job that I had to beg my dad to beg our asshole neighbor to give me. I don't want this to be my life, and I hate that I'm grateful for it because it's still better than anything else I can find. I want a break. God how I want to rest. I want a day where I am not fucking terrified of my future and where I don't have to be planted in front of my computer until my eyes fucking bleed. There just doesn't seem to be any relief or way to escape.
I am so tired...
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